Now, as I was saying… The “D” word … Depression. It has such a stigma to it. It’s taboo. A sign of weakness. In Africa, the definition translated back to us was “going mad.” Wow, who wants that to describe them! No one wants to talk about it… But I do, so let’s talk. I CHOOSE to be transparent about what I deal with in hopes that it can help others.
The definition of depression I want to highlight on is sunken, pressing down on and accompanies feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. The truth is we ALL have felt it. It can be based on circumstances, mindsets created through life, or a chemical imbalance. Often, it’s even a combination of these. For me, it’s a pressing down paralyzing feeling. It’s also accompanied with negative, insecure and self conscious thoughts. My perspective changes, and not for the good. A dear friend and fellow blogger (http://rubber-pencils.com) described it best as being “uncomfortable in my own skin.” That is me. It is not based on circumstance, but instead, a physical pulling down feeling AND endless lies entering my head. Sometimes I can identify what the lies are, other times, I cannot. I want to shut my brain off and crawl into my hole… and not just for a moment… for a LONG time… The crazy thing is, I cant’ even tell you why or what caused it.
Some of you can relate, but for others, it’s not so bad. This is when my flesh wants to say “I hate you” and be covered with jealousy and self pity for the day. Instead, I CHOOSE to change my perspective. I CHOOSE to live by the Holy Spirit and say “I am thankful this is not a big issue for you” and “I praise God for blessing each of us with different strengths and struggles. There is a purpose for them.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
For when I am weak, He is made strong. I CHOOSE to boast about my weaknesses. So… here it goes… “Thank you God for my tendency toward depression.” … There, that wasn’t so hard… I am thankful for my journey with depression because I see all that He has done through it. But… my flesh wants to know why I still have to struggle?!?!? Then I remember… God is sovereign, so I CHOOSE to praise Him in it. I CHOOSE to let Him use my weaknesses and struggles for what they were meant to be – A living testimony of God’s grace in a broken world!
I CHOOSE to see my struggle as a blessing. It’s what brings me back to Him everyday. It reminds me of my dependence on Him. It is a way for Him to call me back and not let me get too far away from Him in MY way of doing life. Because of this struggle, I come to Him in complete dependence everyday. I CHOOSE to allow His power to work in my weakness.
APPLICATION: What is your struggle? Is it a form of depression, anxiety, worry, fear, doubt, shame, anger, pride, jealousy, insecurity, etc.? Is it a physical ailment or an addiction? We all have that “thing.” What is yours? And what are you going to do with it?
1) Have you identified it? If not, think about that one thing that you don’t want others to know or that consumes the majority of your thoughts. Pray for God to reveal it to you. (Psalm 139:23)
3) Have you told atleast one person about it? Are you seeking out help and encouragement from others? Or are you too ashamed and try to keep it hidden (Mark 4:22)? I stand by the belief that transparency is the beginning of healing. Because, the enemy has power over you when you keep things hidden.
4) Did you know you can CHOOSE your perspective about your struggle?
Do you ignore it by keeping busy? Do you give into it over and over again? Do you let it control your life or happiness? Or do you see the good in it (Romans 8:28, 2 Corinthians 12:9) and bring it to the one who can take away the pain (Psalm 55:22)?
5) Do you believe you have a CHOICE in how you feel about it and whether you let this struggle rule over you?
choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!
My Prayer is that You CHOOSE Life Everyday!