If you haven’t noticed, my weekly blog has become more of a sporadically inspired word (when the time allows). Allie is now 5 weeks old and my world has been temporarily rocked. Juggling three kids is tough…. talk about mommy guilt! We are working on getting wee one on a schedule and most importantly sleeping well at nights. She’s an early riser (3am) and I can’t seem to communicate to her that that’s NOT OK. While I’ve had a few nights of catching up on Friends episodes (best show ever) to keep me sane, we are getting there …. slowly but surely. With that said, the computer has been neglected.
God is showing me alot these days… especially in the areas where I struggle. He’s continually speaking truth through His word… Verses I’ve known … but ones I’m seeing and beginning to understand more clearly.
Everything is beneficial, but not everything is permissible
So… does this mean we are free to do anything???? Sort of. (KEEP READING)
WHATS YOUR BIG STRUGGLE?
Let me give you my example of where I am now – My Big struggle… most of you know is with Food. Yes, I love it…. way too much! Why does pizza, pasta, potatoes … oh who am I kidding ALL the “bad” stuff have to be so good? I admit, I love it to the point that it controls me… to the point where, at times, I love it more than God (There, I said it!).
WHAT IS NOT BENEFICIAL? AND WHY NOT?
So here’s the question for me. While all food is permissible, Is all food Beneficial for me? Absolutely not. Yes, it keeps my clothes tighter than I would like… Makes it difficult to drop post baby weight…Clogs my arteries and shortens my lifespan… causes me to obsess about my weight…Makes me self conscious.. leads to depression. Crazy as it sounds, these reasons are NOT enough to keep me away from it. None are the MAIN reason it is not beneficial. It is not beneficial because it pulls me away and separates me from fellowship with my God. It distracts me from my calling and affects my ministry.
My battle with food is no longer about weight or being a certain size. I haven’t weighed myself since before I had Allie and I don’t plan on doing it ANY time soon. (I have NO IDEA how much I weigh, and can I just tell you how good that feels…. could that be peace that I’m feeling?!?!?)
To draw closer to God, He calls us to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily to follow Him (Matthew 16:24). What is He asking me to deny? Yours may be drug-related, a relationship, an activity, a reaction or thought, etc. Mine is food in abundance. In Lysa Terkeurst’s book study, Made to Crave, she revealed a truth that is changing me one day at a time.
Did you get that? Not for the purpose of being healthier, thinner, overcoming a weakness…but for the SOLE PURPOSE of knowing Him better (Eph 1:17-20). As soon as it becomes about losing weight, it’s no longer a sacrifice!
WHAT’S YOUR INTENTIONAL SACRIFICE?
So this is where I am right now. My intentional sacrifice is recognizing that the Lord is my portion (Lam 3:24), therefore I will not go to food in abundance. At mealtimes, I will get a normal person’s portion (not my large portion and/or seconds). This is hard for me because, I have this little monster inside that screams “I want it all!” and my flesh mirrors that desire. So, in the moment that I’m making the choice to deny myself that extra large and 2nd portion, I’m focusing on sacrificing to God, NOT being skinny. I’m seeking to know Him better.